Oh My Gish: Breastfeeding Update and Professional Newborn Photos

---More about nipples than you probably care to read. But, my blog, my rules.---

---I wrote this post about 2 weeks ago. Since then, things have gotten much better. But I'm going to leave it the way it was written because I want to remember the good AND the bad. And maybe I'll help someone else while I'm at it. I'll pop in again at the end. ---

I knew I was going to have trouble with SOMETHING. You don't just get an easy pregnancy and delivery. That's not how it works. After my smooth pregnancy, I was so focused on my labor/delivery (that was SURE to be the trouble spot) that I did not really think about what our new life was going to be like. Thankfully, Abby is a very good baby. She is easy to care for. What I did not realize, even though I researched it to death, was that breastfeeding would be a challenge for us.

While meeting with the lactation consultants at the hospital, they told me Abby had a tongue tie making it difficult for her to suck correctly. This was initially not a problem, because my milk supply was (still is) so good that she was getting plenty to eat, regardless of the fact that she wasn't doing it properly. However, after 2 weeks of breastfeeding, my nipples were so raw I was dreading every feeding and ready to quit. We got the go ahead from our pediatrician to start with pumping and bottles which was a huge relief. I also knew I needed to work on her latch, because the improper latch (caused by her tongue tie) is what causes the pain. I started working on her latch at each feeding and it was getting a little better, very slowly. I had good days and bad days. Some very bad days. I tried every product on the market. Lanolin (I have been through so many tubes of this), gel pads, air exposure, other random Lansinoh products, etc.

As I mentioned previously, we traveled to PA on short notice so that my Grandmother could meet Abby. I ended up breastfeeding at rest stops sitting in the car and other unusual places. Therefore, I wasn't paying attention to Abby's latch or my positioning. When we got back from that trip, I was in excruciating pain. That night, my pain was so bad that I wondered why I was doing this to myself. So I decided to take a 24 hour break and pump exclusively. I also wondered if I didn't have a yeast infection (Thrush) and made an appointment to visit my doctor the next day. [Note: He basically took one look at me, rolled his eyes, and told me that sore nipples were normal and to use lanolin and breast shields. Thanks.]

Pumping exclusively was really difficult at first- It is hard to figure out where to fit the pumping in between feeding the baby, and what to do with the baby because she's crying while I'm pumping. It was stressful and the stress was causing my milk supply to go down! Cue more stress! That night, Joey encouraged me to contact another lactation consultant. One that would come to the house and help us. I know I've said it a million times but his support is what has really kept me from just quitting everything and giving her formula (not that there is anything wrong with that!!!!!!!).

After giving myself a day off, I was SO PLEASED to see that Abby picked breastfeeding back up. Thank goodness for an easy going and versatile baby. I also felt much better. I made sure to focus on the latch each time and I felt like it was getting better.

By the time of the appointment with the lactation consultant, I was starting to get sore again. She came to the house and examined me and Abby. She said I have perfect nipples for breastfeeding (yay?) but what I wasn't prepared for was that she showed me Abby's tongue tie and explained that if we don't fix it, I'm not going to be able to continue because of pain. Originally we didn't want to clip it. Why would we do something that would hurt her?

I was still trying to come to terms with the idea of clipping the tongue tie when I woke up after a horrible night feeling achy all over with a 101 degree fever. What was the matter? You guessed it: mastitis. Kick me while I'm down, why doncha?! So, now I had an infection in my breast that was painful and had me paranoid about emptying it and clogged ducts and everything else, along with making sure my daughter was getting enough to eat. My stress was through the roof but I decided to tackle it one feeding at a time. I continued pumping and bottle feeding and that's where we are today.

--- Fast forward a couple of weeks and I no longer feel guilty about pumping and giving her bottles. I realize now that was a big issue for me and that was what was upsetting me. Everything you read says "BREAST IS BEST" but that doesn't matter. What matters is what works for you and your baby. That is something I was missing, but I am so glad that I understand now. If we have to give her bottles, or formula, or milk from a cow named Bessie, we're doing what's best for us and she's healthy and I'm not psycho and therefore we are in a good place.

We are doing great with bottles and SOME breastfeeding. Usually 1-2 times per day, other than that- bottles. She's still getting exclusive breast milk. My supply is off the charts and I'm getting a ton into the freezer which is great for when I go back to work! I am putting off calling the ENT doctor about the tongue tie but it is something I have to do. I want to make sure it isn't going to cause her other issues (like with speech, for example).

I'll be sure to check back in on this subject in another month or so. Thanks for following along on my journey :) ---

OH and since you read that whole thing, here are some favorites from Abby's 2 week photo shoot with the photographer: