Memorial Day

As we enjoy our kickoff to summer, let's take the time to remember what Memorial Day is REALLY about. 

I follow the blog of a completely inspirational woman named Rachel, who lost her husband in action overseas a little over a year ago.  With her permission, here is a link to her blog and her Memorial Day article this year:

http://alittlepinkinaworldofcamo.blogspot.com/2011/05/memorial-day.html

Thank you to Rachel and to all those who have made that ultimate sacrifice so that we may bbq, drink beers, and enjoy our freedom.

Why I don't get my coffee at McDonalds (Rant)

First of all, I don’t really have anything against McDonalds.  I’ve eaten plenty of chicken nuggets in my nearly 27 years on this earth and ever since Wendy’s switched to those God awful natural sea salt fries, I’ve given them twice the business I used to. 

I just know from experience that if you want your coffee done right, just the way you want it, that you need to go to Starbucks.  And sometimes even Starbucks doesn’t get it 100% right either.  But when you order your coffee via drive thru at McDonalds, there is a 96.8979% chance that something is going to be wrong with it. 

Take this morning, for example.  I wanted a medium iced latte with sugar free vanilla syrup and nonfat milk.  The lady at the window tried to hand me a small, hot, something.  And then proceeded to give me attitude when I told her I wanted iced.  I ended up with a large, mostly milk (and who knows whether it was nonfat) iced drink with way too much syrup in it.  I could barely taste the coffee.

I’d like to say I’ve learned my lesson. But laziness and lack of local Starbucks will always prevail.

I’ll be back in a week to repeat this rant.

*If  someone from Starbucks is reading this, I’d really appreciate a Starbucks en route to 95N from Cardinal Drive in Woodbridge, VA. Thanks.

Ligers Are Real

Remember "Napoleon Dynamite"?  I've included a picture to jog your memory.  Evidently, ligers are real. And according to this article, "are sometimes bred in zoos by mistake".

Uhh…

How do you mess that up?

 

Lady Gaga and Drop Splits

I bought a CD yesterday. For the first time since like 2000 when the Backstreet Boys came out with ‘Millennium’.  I was at Starbucks, getting a humungous coffee in place of breakfast (healthy) when I noticed the new Lady G CD on the counter.  For 15 bucks.  Seemed like a good deal, as I had no knowledge of the Amazon.com 99 CENT promotion… so I picked it up.  The lady behind the counter told me I was the first one to buy it.  I thought that meant I should get it for free, but she didn’t think I was funny so I paid my 20 bucks and left with venti iced coffee and new CD in hand.

I popped it in the CD player (OMG your car still has one of those?!) and was going to turn to ‘Judas’ when the first song came on.   Since I don’t feel like writing an entire review, I will say that I like the CD very much, and that I am in LOVE with song #5, “Americano”.  Turn that baby on, put the volume up, and get ready to choreograph a dance in your head! No? Maybe it’s just me then…

What does Lady Gaga have to do with drop splits?  What even IS a drop split?

I’m so glad you asked.  Lady Gaga has nothing to do with drop splits, and a drop split is a dance term for OUCH MY CROTCH IS RIPPING.  Siiiike. Really it’s a kick line move where everyone jumps in the air (still linked up) and lands on the floor in a split.  It’s pretty impressive and difficult if done correctly.  After practice last night, I’m pretty sure I did it correctly.  Ow.

Other updates:

-Doc had his nails trimmed and while there was no blood drawn, he did bare his teeth at the poor lady.

-The 3 week plan is going well, although I won’t be getting my coach bag because I missed a workout last week. But I’m starting to notice my clothing fits a teeny bit looser, and I’m feeling more fit.  So I’m viewing this as a positive.

-CAN YOU BELIEVE it’s Memorial Day Weekend already?! 

~SG

Toadily Part II: Revenge of the Toads

I am a redneck.

So the other night, Joey and I decided to exact revenge on the toad that almost killed our little muffin.  Okay, Doc did not almost die, or nearly almost die.  He was just really sick and miserable.  And NOBODY will make my baby sick and miserable; let this be a lesson to all.

How do you get a toad to leave your yard? Do you bait it over the fence with some tasty bugs?  Not in this family.  In this family, you shoot it. 

Wait a minute, wait a minute. Before you go calling the authorities, no firearms were used in a residential neighborhood (much to my dismay).  We used a BB gun.

The first night it was pouring rain and cold, so no toads were out and about.  But last night, as I was taking Doc out (on his leash) for his bedtime pee, there it was.  The big one.  This was one big effing toad, let me tell you.  Look at your hand.  Spread out your fingers.  That’s how big this M-Fer was. I pulled Doc back inside and ran to the bathroom door, which was closed because Joey was taking a shower, and yelled “Joey! Come quick! The big toad is on the patio! Come shoot it!”

“I’m taking a shower! You shoot it!”

“I don’t know how!”

*Rustling, shower curtain opening* “You are so ridiculous.”

And so, Joey shot the toad out the back door, with a towel wrapped around his waist.
 

We are rednecks.

The worst part is, the stupid thing didn’t die after being shot 3 times.   I had to shovel him up and toss him over the fence into the neighbor’s yard (insert Asian neighbor eating toad joke here).  And then the guilt kicked in.  That was a big dude. I looked into his eyes.  He didn’t deserve to die… I felt REALLY bad.  He probably lived a peaceful life out on that patio for YEARS. And now he was going to suffer and die because we shot him in the leg and head with a BB gun. 

After I shoveled him over the fence and heard the terrible plop he made when hitting the ground, I turned around and…. There were toads everywhere.  At least 20 of them. They had come back to get revenge…. On ME.  Gulp.

Ok I’m kidding, but wouldn’t that make a great horror movie?  Anyway, lesson is learned. I’m not a hunter.  I didn’t even shoot the thing, but I still feel guilty.  The only good that has come out of this is that there is one less toad out there for Doc to bite and get sick from.  And I now know that I need to get a silencer for my gun because I know damn well that thing wouldn’t live if it was shot 3 times with a .22 bullet…

I am a redneck.

Yargh Mateys!

As the countdown to “Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides” dwindles to 1 day,  I’ve decided it’s necessary for me to explain to the public (read: you) my obsession with pirates.

No, I didn’t fall in love with Pirates in 2003 when The Curse of the Black Pearl was released.  Nor did I fall in love with pirates in Disney World while going on the ride, which, by the way inspired the movies. Not the other way around.

I became interested in pirates in the spring of 1996.  That makes me 11 years old.  Walt Disney and Jim Henson Productions released “Muppet Treasure Island”, the traditional tale of Robert Louis Stevenson’s Treasure Island, with a muppet twist.  Before the movie even hit theaters I was obsessed.  I had a paperback copy of the original novel, and yes, at 11 years old, read the entire thing through so many times that it became tattered, the cover tore off, and pages ripped and stained with whatever goodies I was eating at that time.  I watched the previews on TV and played “pirate” and turned my bedroom into a pirate ship.  (Oh, you thought that was a onetime thing that I did when I turned 23? Wrong. I’m experienced at turning anything into a pirate ship.  Care to challenge me?)  I made home movies with the VHS tape recorder of myself and my siblings dressed in pirate gear.  I got the soundtrack and played it so many times in my tape player that it broke and I had to get another one.   I had all the songs memorized.  Still do, actually…

There's a chance I have this poster framed in my childhood bedroom...

When the movie finally came to theaters, everyone went to see it without me because I had ballet.  That’s pretty much how my entire childhood went.  Maybe that’s why I’m so messed up today?  Anyway, I finally managed to get to the one theater in Downingtown, PA that always played movies well after their release date.  And I loved it! 

From then on, pirates were totally my thing.  Well, so were smiley faces, candles, ballet classes, dorky clothes from The Limited Too, and the rest of middle and high school.  But in 2003 Disney did it again.  This time they added a fantastic actor in the starring role.  I remember seeing the first POTC at University Mall Theaters my sophomore year of college.  After that one, I saw the rest at midnight showings.  What do you think I have planned for tomorrow at midnight?? That’s right.

Happy 23rd Birthday to me!

I don’t really know what it is about pirates.  Maybe it’s the freedom of the seas, or the sense of  adventure, or the lure of golden treasure.  But whatever it is, I’m totally into it.

And with that, I leave you with a sneak preview of my Facebook profile picture for tomorrow, which will culminate 10 days of different pirate profile pictures from various events in my life.  It took some extreme skills in Microsoft Paint, but I think it turned out splendidly.

Yo Ho! Yo Ho! A Pirate’s life for me!

~CAPT SARAH

Toadily.



Doc, in happier times



Doc had a pretty rough weekend. What am I going to do when I actually have KIDS? What am I going to do the first time they get sick or hurt? I was a wreck all weekend over my little DOG. I am going to be the most overprotective parent ever. My children will live in a bubble. They can play sports if they wear head to toe padding like in "Little Giants"...have you seen that movie? It's a classic.

Friday night I got home from the Bayhawks promotion around 10, and since we're super cool, Joey and I were getting ready for bed. I took Doc outside one last time for the night. Lately he has been enjoying pouncing on the toads that like to lounge on the patio at night time. We always yell at him to go do his business and leave the toads alone.  This time, I had my back turned for ONE SECOND and he suddenly had one in his mouth. I screamed NO! and he let go and I saw the toad happily hop away into the bushes. Doc ran inside and was making a horrible face, licking and grimacing and just looking awful. Here's the part
where I sound like a total psycho dog-mom.

I picked him up and carried him to the bedroom calling, "Daddy! Help! Doc bit a toad!" and then, noticing Doc was beginning to FOAM AT THE MOUTH, "JOEY! HELP ME!". Joey's first instinct was to yell at me for letting Doc bite the toad (really? Yes. I did it on purpose actually...). Then we ran upstairs with Foamy and I started to *attempt to* wash his mouth out while Joey ran upstairs to wake up his parents to ask where the turkey baster was (so we could flush his mouth with water). "It could be poisonous, Sarah!" Great, so my panic level just elevated to RED.

Joey tried to pour water in his mouth while I frantically googled "my dog bit a toad" and got all kinds of crazy information. Depending on what kind of toad it was, Doc could be seriously sick.

Meanwhile, Joey's Mom was yelling at us because we packed Doc's Benadryl away and we didn't know where it was. She gave him a little bit of milk and he drank it, which was a good sign. But Doc was NOT behaving right at all. He crawled into his crate and sat down in the very back, which was extremely unsettling since he never goes in there. I call the vet and while I'm on hold, Joey goes over to the crate to check on him and says "Sarah? He just threw up. A lot." I hung up, called back, and said it was an emergency so they wouldn't put me on hold. The technician was nice, but hurried, when she told me toads around here aren't poisonous and that she's not surprised he got sick since he's so small. She said to just watch him for a while but he should be OK.

We cleaned up the Doc-vom (wow, his entire stomach emptied itself) and took him downstairs. The next 2 hours were terrible. Poor Doc, he was not feeling well at all. He was so sick and sad looking it just broke my
heart. We petted him and told him he was a good boy and he just leaned into us like "Help me :(" Joey passed out after a while leaving me to sit up every few minutes to check that Doc was still breathing. Eventually he got annoyed with me poking at him and crawled under the covers next to Joey so I would stop bothering him. He slowly started to feel better- I heard more sniffing, scratching, etc. and I finally felt like I could fall asleep. But I woke up every couple hours during the night anyway.

The next day he was toadily (haha) fine. He was bouncing around like a rubber ball again and eating his kibble and drinking his water. Here's the best part. Guess where he went the MOMENT we opened the door?? That's right. Back to the spot where the toad was. Stupid dog.

Saturday was uneventful, but Sunday he came in from being outside with bright red spots on his belly. I CAN'T TAKE ANY MORE OF THIS. Google told me it's black fly bites, and they are healing just fine. But I'm refusing to let him outside unattended during the day and he'll be on a leash at night until he learns not to go near toads.

Red spots,  also censored for your virgin eyes.

These are my confessions.

God is punishing me for eating Chinese food last night. 

…And we might have finished a couple bottles of wine too.  Joey won an award at work (including a paid day off!) and we needed to celebrate!  It was nice to relax on the porch and watch Doc chase birds around the back yard.  We were up talking with my FIL until way too late and this morning came very early.

I hit the snooze button, oh, 37 times before I finally decided I needed to get up and take a shower so my spray tan wouldn’t make me look like an oompa loompa.  Then I had to put together all my stuff for our performance tonight before I jumped in the car, running 20 minutes behind schedule.  THEN I realized I had been too lazy to get gas yesterday. Don’t you hate it when you are already running late, and then your gas light comes on?!  I decided I’d treat myself to a full gas tank and a Wawa coffee, so off I went.  When I got to Wawa, it was packed and I had to wait in line to fill up. OH and it had just started to rain.  Then when I went inside to get my coffee, my NEW sandals from Gap got caught on the door and BROKE. >:-[

A few other things happened that I have since forgotten (but since I blog in my head all day long I’m bound to remember them at some point).  I SOMEHOW made it to the office by 8am, for which I can thank DC area Friday traffic.  (Govvies with flex schedules. Jerks.)

Luckily the day is looking up.  While I’m still bitter about my sandal breaking, I can probably fix it with a hot glue gun or something sticky… Maybe chewing gum?

Hope everyone has a great weekend.

Let’s go BAYHAWKS!

AGAIN?!

Bronx Zoo peahen escapes, wandering New York City

3 Week Challenge

There is a quote often said amongst professional cheerleaders, "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels".  While it's a horrible quote, it IS somewhat true.  Although I really despise eating lettuce for dinner and celery sticks for dessert.  Kidding!! I know my health food posts bore you, so I'll make it short and sweet.

Yesterday, with the encouragement of my nutritionist friend, I started on a 3 week challenge.  The challenge is to work out 5 days per week while also eating healthy meals.  If I can work out for 15 days of the next 21, I get a new Coach purse.  (Granted, it'll be coming from the outlet cause we aren't made of money).  But I'm working on rewarding myself with things OTHER than food.  So Coach purse it is!

Well, one day down. And it was cake.  We practice twice a week, so there's 2 days of intense cardio right there. Plus this week we have two performances. That means I just need to find one day to go running after work!  Next week will be a definite challenge.  We are off all week. 

Wish me luck!

~SG

PS: and if you are mad at me for being healthy, don’t worry. I ate Chipotle AND Outback on Sunday.  Hey, nobody’s perfect!

Steako de Mayo!

To celebrate Cinco de Mayo yesterday, Joey and I met up with Casey (Peyton's girlfriend, remember? From the Disney write up?) at Los Toltecos for some authentic celebration.  We knew it was going to be packed, but we didn't realize:

a) They were going to run out of pagers, and they weren't writing down NAMES

b) They ran out of cups, so people were drinking out of solo cups

c) There was no actual "wait time" as it was the holiday and people were staying at their tables forever

So we headed up to the steakhouse next door.

We were still able to get some margaritas and queso.  Whatever.

...We also had a surprise dinner guest!  Casey was thrilled that Peyton came all the way from Baghdad to join us for dinner!

 

Surprise!

Peyton in the sugar holder

Aww, he brought her roses!

Feeding him chips

Joey and Peyton drinking a beer together

Have a great weekend!

~SG

On a lighter note...

No, really. I got my hair highlighted. Here's a couple pics, along with a bonus preview of my Hawkettes uniform.  (Team photo shoot was last night. No, I don't dress up like this just to take pictures for my blog.)

I am SO ready for summer. Bring on the beach!

Feelin' Soapy

I don't want to do what everyone is doing. I don't want to spread my political beliefs on the internet about the death of Osama Bin Laden.  Instead, I want to climb on a different soap box for a minute. If you don't wanna read, I don't blame you. But I promise the only people who will be pissed off by this entry are heartless heathens raised by wolves.

I just want to remind everyone that no matter who we are, what we look like, what our political beliefs and religions are, or what country we are in, that we need to RESPECT one another. Everyone is certainly entitled to their own beliefs, and that is the beauty of America. We are  allowed to share anything we want on all types of media. But I worry that the anonymity of the internet can sometimes cause bold behaviors that might otherwise be avoided.

My plea is simple: Say what you want. But why not be respectful about it?

I guess being "Mrs. Nice Guy" hasn't exactly gotten me anywhere special in life. But I don't think being a pompous, rude, A-hole is going to get us anywhere either.

Please, let's just all be friends.